From Coal to Carat: The Struggle and Strength of a True Diamond!

The Lump of Coal

As we embark on the journey through Suicide Awareness and Prevention Month, I am compelled to share a story that transcends pain to embrace resilience, a tale of triumph over tragedy. I am an attempt survivor who thought I had no value, no purpose, and no need to be in this world anymore; even though I had a two-year old child. I now know this is a common narrative we can conquer and rise above. However, before then, the weight of the world once engulfed me. Through the fire of adversity, the pressures of the world, the buffing and polishing, I emerged as a diamond that shines bright today.

Rock Bottom

Imagine feeling so invisible that you truly believe that if you were no longer living the world would not care and would be a better place. Seems like an unimaginable thought, doesn't it? This is the thought of many who suffer from being in our own heads. In 1989 I bottomed out. I thought this is it I cannot take it anymore. I was numb and no longer cared about logic, reason, or life's bigger picture. My failed attempt solidified that I was indeed the failure I had suspected. That was the day I made a vow to never do it again; to learn to live instead of learning to die. I know to fulfill this stance I had a lot of work to do.

An Uphill Battle

Me, like many others, have faced moments where the darkness seemed insurmountable. I was hurting and longed to be heard and understood. There were times when I felt like no one loved me, drowning in a sea of despair where I could not see tomorrow. The pressure of life buffering against me, dragging me down, suffocating under the weight of others' expectations. I went to the mirror and put in the work. It was rough, hard, humbling, and took years of unlearning and relearning. I had to let go of certain beliefs, people, places, and things. Those wonder years were true fire and pressure.

The Turning Point

After my tragic yet failed attempt and in the midst of the storm, a flicker of resilience blossomed within me. A moment where the desire to rise above the shadows eclipsed the pain. It was in this moment that I found the strength to seek help, to voice the unspoken battles waging within my soul. With each word spoken, I began to chip away at the walls that confined me. I used words of affirmation, asked strangers (that lived better than me) lots of questions, placed myself in new places with new situations and allowed myself to meet new people. It was quite uncomfortable, but I walked into the light until I found a new comfort. Mental health was taboo back then. There weren't many healing avenues. I was committed to becoming a better me, for not only my child, but for me, so I created my own healing path.

The Journey of Healing

Through self-help therapy, readying lots of psychology books as a hobby, enrolling in and obtaining a BA in Psychology later in life, and tons of support from others, I navigated the labyrinth of my emotions, confronting the demons that once held me captive. The journey was not easy; it demanded vulnerability and courage, but with each step forward, I shed the layers of darkness that entwined my spirit and went on to earn my MA degree in Organizational Management with a certification in Coaching and Leadership Development. The first degree I completed for my child because I firmly believe that the best gift you can give to your child is the evolution of your own self-development. The process of healing was akin to a diamond being polished – each struggle and triumph a facet that shaped me into the gem I am today.

From Struggle to Strength

Today, as I stand tall, basking in the light of self-love and acceptance, I reflect on the metamorphosis that took place within me. The scars of the past are no longer open wounds but rather marks of resilience and endurance. I am now a beacon of hope, a testament to the fact that even in the darkest moments, there is light waiting to be discovered.

The Diamond: A Message of Hope

To anyone grappling with the shadows of despair, know that you are not alone. Your struggle does not define you; it refines you. Embrace the journey towards healing, for within the depths of adversity lies the potential for growth and transformation. Just as a diamond emerges brilliant and unyielding from the depths of the earth, so too can you emerge from the darkness, shining bright and resilient.

Conclusion

Suicide Awareness and Prevention Month serve as a beacon of hope, a reminder that even in the face of despair, there is always a flicker of light waiting to be kindled. Let us stand united in our efforts to raise awareness, break the stigma surrounding mental health, and offer support to those in need. Together, we can triumph over tragedy, spreading love, empathy, and understanding to all who walk the path of healing.

In the end, remember that your struggles are shaping you into a stronger, more resilient version of yourself. Just like a diamond that withstands immense pressure to emerge as a radiant jewel, let your journey through the fire refine and illuminate the beauty within you.

No Pressure No Diamond - No Struggle No Strength

Know Pressure Know Diamond - Know Struggle Know Strength

Embrace the process, for you are a diamond that shines bright.

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